As someone battling an Eating Disorder, there is so much confusion in hearing these “voices”… they speak from a place within us that is filled with low self-esteem, that wants to believe we deserve not to be happy, and to believe that we are worthless. I’ve heard them described as “loud thoughts”, “my own head” and as “a voice/voices”. They speak those things that convince us we’re stupid, worthless, deserving to be unhappy, not to eat, to keep eating or that we have to get rid of what we ate. They tell us “the world would be better without you.” They come from that place within us plagued with negativity and self-hate, encouraging us to continue with our Eating Disorder, and convincing us that we do not deserve recovery, that we deserve a life of pain.

The voices of our Eating Disorders also convince us we have no will power, that we are weak when we’ve eaten, and that no one will ever love us. They harass us with guilt and even berate us for the Eating Disorder behavior itself. It is no wonder recovery is so difficult and such hard work. We are battling with ourselves over what we are convinced we deserve (and that our negative voices keep reminding us of) as opposed to what we truly do deserve (recovery, happiness and self-love!).

Grounding Methods

Ideas for when you feel out of control, are having a flashback and/or need grounding…

• Remind yourself “I’m going to be ok” and “I’m not crazy”… this is a normal part of the recovery process
• Plant your feet firmly on the ground
• Count up 1 to 10 then back 10 to 1
• Say out loud things you see and smell
• Touch the wall, the floor and objects close to you
• Call someone on the phone
• Walk around and watch your own feet – listen to the sound
• Listen to yourself breathe – Do deep breathing
• Listen to music and count the beats
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help
• Hug someone safe
• Hold someone’s hand (someone safe)
• Tear up paper, throw ice, chew ice chips
• Visualize the memory as an object and put it “away” (for example, the memory is a blue rubber ball and you put it in a toybox)
• Focus on details… leaves on trees, blades of grass, fibers in carpet
• Call your therapist
• Call a Hotline
• Hold and/or talk to a stuffed animal
• Fight the voices – change the negatives to positives
• Play an instrument
• Gently wash your face, hands or hair
• Do gardening, shovel snow or mow the lawn
• Color in a coloring book
• Rock in a rocking chair
• Touch a familiar object that you carry with you (keys, a necklace) or listen to your watch ticking
• Hold and pet your cat or dog
• Make a list of things to do or shopping list
• Write down who and where you are
• Pray, talk yourself down or yell
• Say what you feel outloud, even if you have to yell or cry!
• Change your environment… walk out of the room, touch something different, change the sounds around you (put on music, turn on the tv, etc.), eat something different and “safe”, smell something different (perfume, flowers, food, grass, etc.)
• Visualize a stop sign
• Dance to music
• Say outloud “I am here right now”… assure yourself that this is a normal process for you
• Do self-affirmation… read books, listen to tapes and write down good things about yourself
• Identify your triggers (things that make you feel badly or have bad memories or flashbacks)